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�What Men Really Want?� Topic on 3/3 @ East Harbor

 

submitted by Joanne Verrino

 

As we looked at this topic through the lens of an article titled What Men Want (a Guide For Women), there were moments of mixed reactions �agreement/disagreement, critiquing/ criticizing, reflective silence/awkwardness � some of the same moments one might encounter on a first or second date.  Here is an excerpt from the article:

 

"What Men Want (a Guide For Women)"

   By Scott Andrews, Founder  

   Contributing editor:  Jessica Haynes, Aspiration Advocate

 

Here are the guidelines:

1. Men want a fun and exciting (female) companion.

2. Men want great sex (consistent, frequent, and passionate lovemaking score high with men).

3. Men want to share meals with their woman companion (especially when she cooks for him).

4. Men want you to support them in their work and boost their confidence.

5. Men want you to look great, keep in shape, and express confidence  about your body.

6. Men want you to listen to them and treat them with respect.

7. Men need private time, to unwind, to engage in sports and hobbies, and to spend time with other men.

 

Women: in case you're not very thrilled with this list, that may be because you were hoping I wrote the guidelines for "What Women Want Men To Want," which, predictably, is a considerably different list. For that, you'd have to see What Women Want (A Guide For Men). But the idea is to understand men so that you might get along better, right?  Well, this guide works, trust me - it is proven and tested.

 

The article, in its entirety, can be found @ http://www.aspirenow.com/smooth_10_00_what_men_want.htm

 

And here are a few excerpts from our discussion:

 

�      This article is a good springboard.     

 

�      Who wrote this crap?  A PhD?

 

�      I like women who take part in planning the date.

 

�      I like men who take the lead.

 

�      Huh?

 

�      What does it mean to play games? 

 

�      Huh! 

 

�      I�d like this discussion to be a little more interactive.

 

�      I want a guy who is educated, not necessarily intelligent.

 

�      Huh?!

 

After we parted, I took time for a bit of reflection and realized the important thing is not:

 

�         What a man wants or doesn�t want

�         What a woman wants or doesn�t want

�         What a man wants/doesn�t want a woman to want

�         What a woman wants/doesn�t want a man to want

�         What a man wants/doesn�t want a woman to want him to want�

 

What is important is that we take the time to find out the cost to self when we spend so much of it focused on what the other wants and on trying to provide it.  Instead, we might ask ourselves why we want to know what the other person wants.  What would having this information do for us?  While it would be nice to know what the other person�s interests are, we might need to take a closer look at our intention.  Are we simply being friendly or are we being manipulative under the guise of friendship? That is, if a woman knows a guy likes a woman who boosts his confidence and she boosts his confidence because she wants him to like her, is she not trying to control him for her own selfish intention?  Perhaps, instead, she could ask herself why she wants him to like her.  Perhaps he could ask himself why he likes a woman to boost his confidence. 

 

And perhaps this could be a topic for a future discussion group  ;   )